It’s as if collective logic hasn’t just been thrown out the window but has been trampled on by a herd of buffalo, set alight with an accelerant and then urinated on for good measure. The last 18 months or so have seen our leaders, kingpins and go-to guys fail to protect us in what is, granted, an unenviable task as the never-ending rhetoric forces many to live in fear, accept the inevitable and do anything but damn well crack on with it.

I have just got back from a road trip to Sussex, Snowdon, and Cornwall (no mean feat with two daughters, bikes and a Mazda that leaks oil like the Exxon Valdez). I have come to realise, the collective logic, or lack of it, is not just a London thang, but has seeped, through numerous media channels, like a putrid contaminant into every inlet, hamlet, and village across the kingdom. I have lost count of the number of times I have gone to amuse the kids by visiting a shop selling overpriced tourist tat, only to find the main thoroughfare parking has been blocked off with OTT yellow plastic contraptions to ‘aid social distancing’. All it does is make you more determined to park, in a more confined space, as the problem is exacerbated by bottle necking the cars and punters into one area instead of two.

Covid-related road closures such as this in George Street, St Albans, are often still in place

Covid-related road closures such as this in George Street, St Albans, are often still in place

Brighton shops, along with those in several areas of Cornwall, were, prior to the recent face covering diktats, refusing entry to those not wearing masks, again, with the sword of righteousness at their side as they trot out the tiresome ‘to keep you safe’ mantra. Having forgotten my tuppence piece of wafer-thin covering, those shunted out into the cold find themselves in close proximity to others as again the problem is shifted. The shop owner who, despite openly being fearful of Covid, refuses to shut the shop, choosing instead to surround herself with like-minded fearfuls.

Social distancing chairs are prevalent in the dentists, who to their credit are outdoing the doctors by actually seeing humans face to face, again leaving queues in confined spaces hunched together outside as they attempt to gain access to the inner sanctum. Theme parks continue to minimise ride capacities, ensuring the wait is twice as long as the rides are half as busy and you are at more than double the risk of catching Covid, a cough or any other bug, from the sneezing grandma standing pretty much on your toecaps.

2m? 1.5m? 1m? Brett says some people end up closer together outside in queues than where they want to be. Image: Pixabay

2m? 1.5m? 1m? Brett says some people end up closer together outside in queues than where they want to be. Image: Pixabay

Other businesses have used the current excuse culture to minimise costs as they blame not only Covid, but Brexit. The fruit pickers have gone home and can’t get back in. The lorry drivers who we have underpaid for years are now jumping ship, as are the waiters and dishwashers and other industry lynchpins who have always, until now, kept us ticking along nicely. And so we see supermarkets run dry of product: Even McDonald's recently ran out of milkshake as they blame the ‘unprecedented’ recruitment crisis on the one hand yet urge punters to undertake their work for them on the other (forcing you to paw the touch screens which are a harbour for bacterial nasties).

Industry can’t have it both ways you see; they can't bemoan the fact that you didn’t bring a bag for life, as they sell plastic carriers instead of paper. They can’t whinge about recruitment when they sack staff and force you to do the work for them in the perennial pursuit of an improved bottom line. The truth is you reap what you sow: by mistreating staff over time, you shouldn’t cry when staff no longer want to do the low paid, dirty work as you pass that onto the consumer. You can’t tell folk you are undertaking illogical actions to keep them safe when all you are doing is prolonging and exacerbating a problem that we just have to learn to live with.

We have collectively reached a point where, despite the rhetoric of being kind to one another and being accepting no matter what our chi, whether we choose to be he, she, or inanimate object, we are reaping what we have sown in the good times. Now we are in the rough and cannot find the ball, and instead of blaming it on a dodgy tee shot, we are thrashing around as we attempt to thrust the blame onto others for mismanagement competences. Collectively we are irrational and illogical and unless the flow is stemmed, we will become a caricature of monstrous proportion.

  • Brett Ellis is a teacher